A Session on the Casting Couch
HAMNET TWO'S FAME STARTS HERE?
I just returned home from an interview at a casting agency here in Phoenix, Arizona, U.S.A. The casting agent said she really liked my look and that my face was younger than my stated age. This was before I even sat down in the red chair as I entered her photo-bedecked office. By the time my butt had reached the seat, she had also complimented me on my chosen attire and the fact that I had topped it off with a leather jacket, which evidently photographs well in black and white. I'm thinking, "Whoa! I'm really good-looking and dress really well."
She reeled off the money figures I could expect to make, starting with the extra's pay, which she insisted I'd never have to settle for, that I was meant for "more than just extra work;" and then she spouted the Hollywood-level money she knew I'd soon be getting. I'm thinking, "Whoa! It's like she really knows me and understands the gifts I have and can share with the world. I'm gonna' be a star."
She then explained to me how much cheaper it was to get my essential file photos done right there at the agency instead of elsewhere and her prices were certainly not like in California where the prices were just ridiculous and "we might as well get on this today. I've got several jobs in mind that you'd be great for." I'm thinking, "Just give me the scripts. I'm sure I'll just have the native empathy with the characters that only such a good-looking, well-dressed capital-A Actor could; and, hey, I'm really well-read, lots of life experience, a world traveler, oh, the prejudice I've felt deep inside; and, wow, I'm sure she's noticed how graceful and athletic I am, the wiry strength I have."
She then explained that the whole process could begin if I'd just write a check for nearly $300, a steal. Could I believe the great deal she was putting in my lap.
I woke up at that point, teacher mode back on and in high gear, that little section of my brain that can spot the classroom schemer, the "the dog ate my homework" B.S., and can tell who "did it" even with my back turned, even as my left hand noisily continues scratching the essentials of the Crimean War on the chalkboard so that Tennyson's "Charge of the Light Brigade" might take on a bit more significance to the students in these times of political turmoil. I said, as my version of the Tom-Cruise mega-watt grin widened (just so she'd know what she was missing out on) as my star, which only moments ago had been sky-high, plummeted, "I'll have to get back to you after the Holidays." She assured me a credit-card number was just as good, just as easy. I'm thinking, "Should I change out of these ridiculous clothes before I fix myself a cheese sandwich later, of course, after I wash off as much of this malignant cologne as I can so I can actually taste it?"
Moments later, I was in my little car on the way to the bookstore to browse before lunch, where I read the latest ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY and PREMIERE magazines and dreamed of my good-looking, well-dressed picture being in there soon with article after article praising the depth and humor of my fabulous words.
--Michael Adams
(All writing contained in this web log written in the year 2002 is COPYRIGHT 2002 Michael S. Adams.)
I just returned home from an interview at a casting agency here in Phoenix, Arizona, U.S.A. The casting agent said she really liked my look and that my face was younger than my stated age. This was before I even sat down in the red chair as I entered her photo-bedecked office. By the time my butt had reached the seat, she had also complimented me on my chosen attire and the fact that I had topped it off with a leather jacket, which evidently photographs well in black and white. I'm thinking, "Whoa! I'm really good-looking and dress really well."
She reeled off the money figures I could expect to make, starting with the extra's pay, which she insisted I'd never have to settle for, that I was meant for "more than just extra work;" and then she spouted the Hollywood-level money she knew I'd soon be getting. I'm thinking, "Whoa! It's like she really knows me and understands the gifts I have and can share with the world. I'm gonna' be a star."
She then explained to me how much cheaper it was to get my essential file photos done right there at the agency instead of elsewhere and her prices were certainly not like in California where the prices were just ridiculous and "we might as well get on this today. I've got several jobs in mind that you'd be great for." I'm thinking, "Just give me the scripts. I'm sure I'll just have the native empathy with the characters that only such a good-looking, well-dressed capital-A Actor could; and, hey, I'm really well-read, lots of life experience, a world traveler, oh, the prejudice I've felt deep inside; and, wow, I'm sure she's noticed how graceful and athletic I am, the wiry strength I have."
She then explained that the whole process could begin if I'd just write a check for nearly $300, a steal. Could I believe the great deal she was putting in my lap.
I woke up at that point, teacher mode back on and in high gear, that little section of my brain that can spot the classroom schemer, the "the dog ate my homework" B.S., and can tell who "did it" even with my back turned, even as my left hand noisily continues scratching the essentials of the Crimean War on the chalkboard so that Tennyson's "Charge of the Light Brigade" might take on a bit more significance to the students in these times of political turmoil. I said, as my version of the Tom-Cruise mega-watt grin widened (just so she'd know what she was missing out on) as my star, which only moments ago had been sky-high, plummeted, "I'll have to get back to you after the Holidays." She assured me a credit-card number was just as good, just as easy. I'm thinking, "Should I change out of these ridiculous clothes before I fix myself a cheese sandwich later, of course, after I wash off as much of this malignant cologne as I can so I can actually taste it?"
Moments later, I was in my little car on the way to the bookstore to browse before lunch, where I read the latest ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY and PREMIERE magazines and dreamed of my good-looking, well-dressed picture being in there soon with article after article praising the depth and humor of my fabulous words.
--Michael Adams
(All writing contained in this web log written in the year 2002 is COPYRIGHT 2002 Michael S. Adams.)
Labels: arizona, casting agency, casting couch, entertainment weekly, extra, phoenix, premiere magazine, star, tom cruise, u.s.a.
posted by Mike @ 3:14 PM
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