A Review of THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS

PRESIDENT OF THE BALLOT BOXES: THE TWIN TOWERS


I will eschew, for the most part, the usual movie-review pattern of overall reaction, plot summary, critical analysis of the film’s parts, and graded-review ending. I’m gonna’ hit you with a lot of me in the review, imagine that; list the negatives and positives, in no particular order; and then there’s no telling what might happen. Hang on…

Around 11:15 yesterday, Wednesday, December 18, Los and I, in order to assure ourselves a nice seat, rushed over to the Christown 11 Cinemas, here in Phoenix, to buy tix for the opening day 2 o’clock showing of THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS (TTT) but got tix for the 3 showing instead, as that print was being shown on a bigger screen. The lady there assured us we needed to get back somewhat early to avoid the lines that had queued up that morning. I dragged Los back out of the apartment at 1:45 to return to the theatre, which is about ten minutes away. We got there, and, oh, my God, all the way around the block was an empty sidewalk. Inside the theatre lobby, more emptiness. Carlos growled at me and hasn’t spoken since. Thanks, Peter Jackson.

As I nervously sat in the darkened hall, next to my quiet, too-quiet honey, I recalled reading THE HOBBIT as a teenager and liking it. Soon after, I read THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING. After finally making it through that, I picked up THE TWO TOWERS and struggled to finish it, but I did. Understand, I loved, and still do, the fantasy genre, having read loads of more recently written ones before picking up the Tolkien books, supposedly the ones all the more-recent ones used as a blueprint, where there was certainly plenty there to copy, descriptions of a tree, for example, that go on for page after page after page, beautifully written, you understand, but endless, kinda’ like this sentence. Marion Zimmer Bradley’s DARKOVER series of novels springs to mind as books I loved back then, primo world-building as well as well-written. Anyway, as a teen, I finally crawled into the final book, THE RETURN OF THE KING, but never managed to finish it. I probably had to go outside and hit a tennis ball against the wall or something.

More recently, I got it in my head to read the great fantasy books to inspire some writing of my own. Of course, I picked up the old Tolkien books, begrudgingly, but figured I’d probably like them much more as an adult, a literature teacher even. A similar growth in appreciation had recently happened with Conrad’s HEART OF DARKNESS, which I hated when I was forced to read it as a youngster but which I loved upon rereading as an adult, power and intensity seeping from between the lines of the spare prose on every page.

I shipped the Tolkien books to Japan, by land and sea, then I flew quickly there, where the books joined me a couple months later. After settling in, I picked up FELLOWSHIP. Oh, my plan of appreciating them as an adult fell to pieces, it was agony, but I finished the first one. I never got past the first coupla’ chapters of THE TWO TOWERS. My point, I didn’t now remember the names or events of TTT as I awaited the lights to go down in the theatre, even though I had read the whole book as a child and had even recently reread a few chapters of it. It was all going to be new. I loved LOVED 2001’s FELLOWSHIP film, LOVED it. So powerful, what a moving version of the slow-paced novel. I sat in the darkness with great expectations as TTT was about to begin.

I quickly ran up the ramp to tell the manager I wanted all the doors, all EIGHT of them!!!, shut before the screening began, as far too much light was getting into the hall. I also reminded him to remind whomever that the light in the projector room was to be turned off. He agreed and actually followed through. Oh, yesterday, the whole getting there early, the light worry, the childhood reflections, the self-centeredness, I was in movie-watching mode, so so SO looking forward to TTT.

The first preview came up as two young boys, late teens, came in at the last moment, through the kindly shut doors, and sat next to Los and me. Now, I don’t remember what the first preview was, but, according the one of the gentle (i.e., loud) lads next to us, it was “Gay! How gay!” Figuring my homosexual boyfriend sitting next to me might break up with me if I throttled the obnoxious little shit, I restrained myself.

(I did, a couple hours into the film, have to shush a girl sitting about five rows back who could not stop giggling. Others had shushed her to no avail but had not sat up in their seats, turned dramatically, and heaved a Mike-SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH at her. She ceased her distracting giggling when I did so. I still don’t know what to do with phone-assholes. Three times during the film, three cell phones rang. During films past, I’ve rather forcefully told someone to shut his or her phone off, but those phones rang during the previews. I don’t know what to do during the film, because I don’t think a SHHHHHHHHHH will do it. And, anyway, SHHHHHHHH’s are just as loud as the original offending noise. I only want to make noise that will cease all noise once and for all and not further irritate any paying viewers. Any ideas?)

Anyway, moments of almost intolerable, irritable anticipation later, the film began. Now, as I’ve explained, I don’t remember the names of the characters so much, much less how to spell them, nor will strict chronological order have established itself squarely in my mind until about the fourth viewing. I’ve only seen the film once at this point. So, here’s a list of negatives and then positives for you to ponder. I assume you’ve seen FELLOWSHIP and that you have at least a small idea of what TTT is or might be about.

(BEWARE: There be SPOILERS here. If you don’t want anything given away, don't read from here to where I tell you the spoilers end.)
*** *** *** *** ***
NEGATIVES

The opening scene of Gandalf fighting the Balrog, a flashback to FELLOWSHIP, was disturbing because it appeared to me that the fire-whip wasn’t attached to Gandalf as he finally fell after uttering, “Fly, you fools!” which is why I thought he fell, the weight of the Balrog pulling him down. Anyway, after that slight disappointment, I liked the falling, falling, falling as they duked it out, finally allowing Gandalf to improve himself from an average grey to a more powerful white wizard. Nicely done, and a nice finish to McKellen’s performance in the first film. Sadly, the nice performance ended there, within the first moments of TTT.

McKellen lets his costume do almost all the acting in TTT. “Has everyone noticed, I’m wearing WHITE! Woo hoo! White, can you see? Even my beard and hair are no longer grey but WHITE, WHITE. And, do you like my new haircut? I took time out to get a nice do with all the dough we made on the first flick. Didn’t think the captive hobbits and harried other fellowship fellows would mind if I took a few minutes to work on style over substance.”

McKellen steps down in the acting department, but Sean Astin steps it up as Samwise. What a nice performance. A bit treacly toward the end, but that’s the script’s fault. Astin wants a second Oscar for his family. He seems really comfortable in the role. Good for him.

He looks extra good next to Wood, who struggles to show the ring’s gaining power over him. Wood gave a nice perf in FELLOWSHIP but isn’t given much to do here but look strained. Wood doesn’t do more than is asked.

Rhys-Davies’ Gimli takes over comedic duties in TTT from Happy and Gilmore, the second-tier hobbits in FELLOWSHIP. Rhys-Davies, whom I still don’t recognize under all that makeup from all the Indy movies, does a fine job acting, but Gimli’s dignity is nearly left in shreds, but Rhys-Davies salvages enough, with his acting, to come through in the end.

Unfortunately, Jackson likes Rhys-Davies, the actor, so much that he lets him also voice a new character, Treebeard. I could hardly understand a word that character said, wondering too loudly in my own head why Gimli was the voice of Treebeard. Did they run out of actors?

Astin’s stepping it up and his excellently-delivered (if treacly, nearly meta-fictional) end speech aside, the hobbits are, indeed, little characters in TTT. That’s unfortunate, the theme of FELLOWSHIP being no matter your size, you can make a difference. Happy and Gilmore try their best to put on grave, intense faces while riding around in a walking tree, not growing well out of the comedic requirements heaped upon them in FELLOWSHIP. Maybe next time.

Female characters are also given the shaft here as well. The Elf Queen has only one scene, a dreamy, telepathic conference with that villain from THE MATRIX. I guess she inspires him, but that’s all Cate Blanchett gets to do. Unfortunate. Don’t waste an actress of that power.

Liv Tyler’s lovelorn elf also gets to moan in elv-anglish about love and time. One note, one note perf. Perhaps the script is at fault here, struggling to find a place for male-female romantic love in the midst of the beginnings of war. I guess it might be to distract the audience from the longing looks Wood is beaming out at any male standing nearby. Struggling with the ring’s weight, my ass, methinks the boy is struggling with the late swing of that pesky closet door. Kidding aside, Tyler and Blanchett are wasted.

For that matter, so is the new warrior, horse-maiden, umm, princessy person. She looks great, her costume not quite as cliché as it could’ve been, I guess, and her clean-hair flying around, acting in the wind, surrounded by the greasy-headed locks of onlooking commoners, admiring their warrior horse-maiden princess’s shampooed locks. She tries to distract the character growing into the leader, but it all ends up being about nothing but a silly distraction between battle scenes. Perhaps, it’ll all mean something next round, December 2003. So much is made of her skills with a sword. Great! So later, they show her leading horses around and making goo-goo eyes at the kingy-to-be person, no sword swinging. “The women of Rohan can take care of themselves, brought up knowing what to do with a blade, blah, blah, blah.” Such dialogue is backed up, an hour later, with the women cowering in the caves, hoping their men take care of them. What the Hell was all the princess-can-kick-ass and women-are-great-here stuff? Again, perhaps I should be patient and wait until THE RETURN OF THE KING. It was just frustrating here, within this one film, which seems to let itself down.

Speaking of battle scenes, there’s a doozy at the end at a place called Helm’s Deep, which is suddenly interrupted by a battle going on somewhere else, somewhere with white buildings and the Dark Riders now riding horsy dragons. I think it’s probably the land where the King-to-be comes from, the guy that likes the elf-woman. Anyway, Frodo’s there with Sam, and there’s lots of speechifying, but can you say battlus interruptus with battlus confusious. Seems a bit of editing was needed around there.

Well, don’t get me started on the editing anyway. Three hours! What do you think the filmmakers thought as they watched the early versions when the slow parts dragged on? I guess they thought they should be included in the version we saw. I can’t fathom why. I say since they’re so into battle scenes, put a bit more explanation in so the battles mean more inside. It’s not super-hard to follow but can be hard if you’re not staring Gollum-eyed at the screen.

Just a few more negatives…

The powerful villain of FELLOWSHIP, Saruman, is relegated to the position here in TTT of standing over the crystal ball with his eyes closed and standing out on his balcony looking down at his land. Umm, oooh, scary.

The silly energy-crackly eyeball guy is still not doing it for me, scary-wise.

Plus, the super-creepy Ringwraiths from FELLOWSHIP have been replaced by stuntmen riding CG dragons in TTT, not generating one whit of creep-out coolness this time around.

And, finally, sort-of villainly-speaking, umm, letting the Wormtongue guy just walk out. Umm, stupid.

Since no real one villain stands up (or twitters part of his eyeball self) to be noticed, it makes the usual heroes, Gandalf and Frodo, less. Just less. Gandalf introduces us to his horse, who is the lord of all horses, by the way, and what should’ve been a commanding scene, a scene to make you anticipate feats of derring-do upon a powerful steed is reduced. Ooh, it’s an old man in a white, WHITE costume whistling for a ride, whose name unfortunately doesn’t survive with dignity into the twenty-first century, Shadowfax. I thought the horse was gonna’ gallop up with a Kinko’s banner on his side, or some such thing. ShadowFAX, hee hee, what a silly name.

As Gandalf rose valiantly aboard Shadowfax, hee hee, rearing and neighing powerfully, at a crucial point late in the film, I thought, “Umm, this is so deus ex machina, the god from the machine, so cheap, this literally is the cavalry riding in out of nowhere to suddenly save the day.” But, then I remembered the wizard saying something about being there on the fifth day, in the east, out of the sun, earlier in the film. How the Hell did he know that? The writing kind’ve made me feel awkward in my seat for a moment when I should’ve felt elated.
*** *** *** *** ***
(Spoilers end.)

POSITIVES

I’ve already mentioned my delight in Astin’s performance as Sam and with Rhys-Davies managing to salvage a bit of dignity powerfully acting through some unfortunate script choices. Plus, as I said, I was impressed with the Gandalf/Balrog struggle at the beginning. I’ll tell you now that THE TWO TOWERS feels great overall, as FELLOWSHIP did, all specific plot-point, movie criticism aside. It seems to resonate with the times. When FELLOWSHIP came out a year ago, it stated powerfully that even the smallest of us could make a difference. What a great thing to hear, post 9/11, with war brewing. With war now even closer, this film doesn’t feel too uncomfortable with all its war imagery but strangely comforting and inspirational, showing us characters growing into being able to make a difference even having to live through such difficult times.

I might not like Wood’s acting choices here, but I like the struggle his character is suffering through. Good stuff. Try to do the right thing. Try to do the right thing. Try to do the good thing. We all struggle to do that, even in a society that seems to aggrandize those that take the easy, wrong path, those that make might right even if it’s wrong.

Should I sneak out of Target with some needed medicine even though I don’t really have enough money to pay for it, or should I suck it up and do the right thing and pay for it. Would Flash pay for it? Would Daredevil? Would Frodo? I think they would. I’m happy I learned from them, even if society says comic books and fantasy movies are silly, childish trifles to be made fun of.

Society says it’s OK to make fun of people who read comic books but that it’s OK to stuff ballot boxes and steal the American presidency. Watching BABE and then actually seriously discussing the line “Christmas is carnage!” is just silly fan-boy stuff to be ridiculed but bombing a country, filled with human beings, Christians and non-Christians alike, back into the dark ages with weapons of mass destruction is fine.

We can learn from Tolkien’s LORD OF THE RINGS stories and from Peter Jackson and company’s film versions of them if we open ourselves up for the possibility.

In THE TWO TOWERS, several characters and the groups they belong to deliberate over getting involved in the coming war and debate war overall, its usefulness and cost. Which side should we belong to? Who’s right? Who’s good? What’s right? What’s good? It is worth discussing in our own lives, even if the discussion emanates from such a seemingly silly, seemingly meaningless place as the settings found in a fantasy movie.

***(SMALL SPOILER in this paragraph)***
Only in a "silly" fantasy movie though would we get the funny, funny scene of a giant tree man bending over to put out the fire raging through the leafy branches of his “hair” in a river of water flooding across a war-torn plain. Look for the scene, hilarious. I don’t know what the theme there is that makes our lives more understood or more meaningful, it’s just a funny scene. Maybe something about taking care of your hair. Thankfully, it’s not something I have to worry too much about with all the receding and the massive crew cut going on.

I might take issue with individual scenes and with acting choices, but I like the film’s rising themes. Industry versus nature. Evil versus good. A good leader can ease society’s way. Who can be a good leader? What should a good leader do and be? So many characters and groups in the film need someone to stand up and say, “Follow me! I know the best way to go.” It’s gonna’ be great when the king finally returns, in his own mind, and presents himself to the good populace of Middle-Earth in THE RETURN OF THE KING.

Yeah, this film, at times, seems only to be marking time until that happens, but we do get a moment to ponder our own Earth, our own industry, our own leaders or lack of leadership. We get a few well-done battle scenes to watch in the meantime, scenes that scream out about war and its cost.

When the orc and uruk-hai hordes leave Saruman's place, banners and spears raised into the air, it is quite impressive. A sense of danger actually arises.

Legolas, the blond elf, still rules, the elf warrior saving the day with a well-shot arrow, or volley of arrows, making his choices known, his voice heard in the democracy of battle.

I do like Happy and Sam coaching their good friends, holding them up or pulling them along, saying this is the right thing to do. Friends should communicate with friends. Otherwise, what good does it do to say that I have a friend at such and such a place in the world. Communicate as constantly as you can.

Nowhere is the battle of good and evil more soul-wrenching and moving here than in the character of Gollum/Smeagol. Andy Serkis originated the characters movments in real-time in front of the camera, and then his scenes were painted with wonderful computer-generated imagery. He also voices the character supremely well, never a moment in the voice where the viewer does not see deep into the character’s ring-ravaged mind. Unfortunately, the AMPAS people are gonna’ have to decide, hmmm, another Oscar for the Astin family or one for this powerful CG-masked performance, something they’ve never done. It bears thought.

That’s what’s so good here in this film, it bears thought. Of course, I must admit that that bearing originates in Tolkien’s own novels, which I struggled through. I never said there wasn’t beauty there, just for me there was too much description and too much repetition. I’m glad the novels have inspired such good films though. Go and watch THE TWO TOWERS. Definitely worth the cost. Go, see it, and then discuss it with me, tell me what you liked and disliked, how you agree with me or even disagree with me, if such a thing is possible. I’m at hamnettwo@yahoo.com. Put “ttt” in the subject line.

Some have seen Osama bin Laden in the character of Saruman, his mystic robes trailing, his ideas on how the world should be killing innocents and beginning wars. I see America in the movie, our real leader lost, nameless, somewhere out there striding the wilds, his or her own thrown usurped by Bush II and his cronies, Bush’s Sauron—
Enron and its brothers, his own Wormtongue—Trent Lott, his own orks and uruk-hai, (ooh, this is fun) the masses of Republicans.

Unfortunately, in the fantasy setting of TTT, kings are seen as having the divine right to rule. I think its key in TTT that the king-to-be actually IS the best person to lead. I, in no way, support such bloodline divine-right-to-rule lunacy. Bush II, yeah, he is the son of a former king, Bush I; but don’t think for a second there’re any wheels turning in that industry-warped mind, certainly not any wise trees either, as it is his wont to destroy such things as trees and lands and rivers and humans. Lunacy.

Yeah, it’s cool to trace Elizabeth II’s bloodline back through the dark ages (26-or-so greats grand-daughter of William the Conqueror) but silly to think that just because she can do so that she is the only person to rule. I’m happy to see that democracy has cut a few inches off that throne anyway on our own Earth. Perhaps soon, we’ll all understand the best ways to go, the best things to say, the best ways to be. Perhaps our own Aragorn will rise in our minds and lead us through the Gollum/Frodo struggle to become the powerful White Wizards of our own grey lives. Perhaps such a silly trifle of a fantasy film will get us started on that path.

I still ponder and worry about the situations that gave rise to the destruction of the Twin Towers, what some are mistakenly calling this film, but I look forward to the scene where the two towers from THE TWO TOWERS, evil incarnate, crumble to the ground as well, good keeping evil at bay for another well-lived day in THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING.

--Michael Adams
(All writing contained in this web log written in the year 2002, including this web-log entry above, is COPYRIGHT 2002 Michael S. Adams.)